HumanKind: I Choose To Be Both

To anyone else wondering, NO I am NOT pregnant!

It was early one Friday evening, I went to give blood. I was in need of a little pick me up, a mood changer. The Clemson sweatshirt & free movie tickets might have been some of the persuasion to get me there that evening, I’ll admit. So anyway, I go. I pass the lengthy and quite personal, yet one I’m very familiar with, questionnaire, check. I pass my hemoglobin test, check and yay! I can give! A very friendly and soft spoken young lady helped me with that and then she passes me on to the next seat. I was sent to lounge in the designated seat to just relax. Another very nice girl prepped me, stuck me and asked yet another friendly girl to finish me up. They both got along very well too. I felt very much a part of a tight knit assembly line. One where I possibly had more experience with, than any one of the three young ladies that had helped me thus far. But none the less, all up to this point had been a very good experience.

It was exactly what I had been needing in the days ahead. I needed something to help make me feel good with myself. I go through that every once in a while. I just get down, no good reason. Well this evening was actually day three for me of trying to get out of that hole. It actually had been a pretty good day…..

The nice girl who finished me up; she cut off the supply to the fill bag, filled the four or five tubes they require, applied pressure to stop the bleeding, then bandaid and wrapped my arm with that self adhesive medical gauze tape stuff. She then sent me to get a drink, snack and have a seat for a minute. I did just that and when I felt ready I got up to get the gift I came for, my Clemson sweatshirt.. the one who stuck me said she would go get my movie tickets……..

I waited a minute. Then suddenly the group of them came out of the back doorway and the one and only guy working there continued to approach me. (Mind you he hasn’t spoken to me or done anything to assist me before now) He said, “We just gave out our last movie tickets. We will mail yours.” As anyone else would do, I replied, “That will be fine. Thank you!” Then he says, “Can you come here? There was one more thing..” motioning me back to the very first stop, the cubby space where they ask you all of the personal questions… Reluctantly I went. The experienced blood donor that I am, I knew they were done with me. I wish I had gone with my gut and just refused saying, “I am done here and you are welcome for my donation.” Instead, we sat down and he asked me if I remembered what I answered earlier when I was asked if I were pregnant…………

Yep. Seriously. (That is actually me in the pictures >>)    

I instantly felt hot, so I know my face went ten shades of red with humiliation. I thought my heart was going to jump right up out of my throat. I wanted to just melt away right there in that chair in that very moment but only after I kicked that pompous jerk in the throat first.

Once my vision came back I looked him dead in the eyes and I boldly and loud enough for all of the ladies there to hear me say, “I said NO” .. (why am I explaining any of this to this guy right now??) Then I asked “ummm why do you ask?!” In that first moment, my initial reaction was almost like the initial shock of seeing an unplanned plus sign on a p-test. I didn’t know whether to cry, scream, laugh, or just punch him… This just took me back so unexpectedly and his only explanation was, “oooooh we had some kind of error come up”…. Dude, I may be fat and apparently not as old looking as I thought I looked (maybe I should just say thank you for the compliment) but I ain’t that stupid. The only error that came up is him when he approached me. Feeling like I was a defendant on trial trying to prove my innocence, I replied, “Look, I have a two year old and I still have not lost baby weight. YES, STILL! I am just fat” then I got up, my lips quivering and me fighting back tears. I felt an inch tall. I could not get to my car fast enough that night! When I made it, I just sat in that parking lot and burst out the angriest most hurtful cry I think I’ve ever had. The experienced blood donor that I am, I KNOW that the only testing done on site is the hemoglobin and I generally score high on that. If the lady who asked me all the questions initially had no confusion on my answers and I was passed on and my blood was collected, with no question.. Then why in the world would I be stopped just before leaving to be asked if I were sure that I was NOT pregnant?! Other than none of the ladies had the …………..GALL to ask.. most women just know not to even go there.

There is never, no not ever, a good time to ask a lady if she is pregnant.

Just wait and you will have your answer for sure… I have actually witnessed a bartender give an eight month pregnant woman a beer without a care or concern yet I am left mortified after giving my gift of life this evening. What is wrong with this picture?

This guy did not know that I am a woman who already has two more than “the ideal number of children for a family to have” per a Gallup poll, or that I have suffered multiple miscarriages that still weigh heavy on my heart, or that I am nearing mid life when childbearing becomes a thing of the past, or that this extra weight is much more difficult than just not eating so much, or that regardless of any of that, that the desire to have a baby is still real and close to my heart….….these very sensitive thoughts remain heavily in the back of my mind and can erupt into an uncontrollable adult tantrum without any poking and prodding of some insensitive and ignorant remark from the male species or from anyone for that matter.

Feeling faint, light-headed or dizzy, hot, sweating, trembling, shaky or nauseous are normal precautions to watch for after donating but I guess since the cause was actually from this guy opening his rude mouth and not so much the lose of a pint of blood, I left there feeling more sick than I have ever felt after giving blood. I made it to my car and I just sat and sulked for a minute. As soon as I gained my composure to be able to drive, I rushed home, even though I’m sure I was still in no shape to really be driving.

THAT night, if I had no husband or children to go home to, it could have very well likely been my last night…. Let that sink in… You just never know what someone else might already be dealing with. But I DO have a wonderful husband who lives to make me feel loved and happy and I have four incredible children who couldn’t love me more if I were a beauty queen!

Just breathe mama. It’s only a bad day, not a bad life! Put your smile on and share it.

“Love is the only thing you make more of by giving it away.” – Tom Wilson

Indeed. So, instead of being like this jerk mouth, who has no business being in any profession of customer service or healthcare, I instead choose to be intentional and inspirational with my actions and words. With every encounter, I either make an impact or I should have. I live to give back to humankind a good name. At very least, to be kind. I choose to be kinder and softer with every word that I let pass through my lips onto another’s ears. For the words don’t just stop on the ears, they land on the heart. They land there and embed themselves permanently. I want to use my words to encourage, to enlighten, to inspire, to motivate and to share LOvE, peace and harmony. If I have no nice words than may my lips be pierced as if they’re actually nailed shut, with a firmness so that no hate can be spread. Didn’t your mama teach you that if you don’t have anything nice to say than don’t say anything at all? Honestly I never heard my mother say those words but rather I learned the very meaning of it through how she just treated everyone. My biggest inspiration are my selfless parents who taught me to put others first and my biggest motivation to continue that are my children. I want them to be the same genuine, selfless beings that promote more goodness to this earth. It sure can stand it!

Humankind, I choose to be both.

“The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It’s the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she shows & the beauty of a woman only grows with passing years.” ― Audrey Hepburn

Written by Rebecca Anandan

Rebecca Anandan is a Stay At Home Mom of two teens, one tween, one toddler, eleven leghorn hens, one fat cat and with one pretty incredible husband that is the anchor of it all. They’re planted in the one place she’s always called home in Anderson, South Carolina. With sixteen years under her belt as a mama, fourteen of them were spent in the workforce. For four years she was a personal weight trainer and dietitian and ten years were spent sitting behind a computer desk of a government office. Now, two years and two months into staying home, she is finally able to live the life she always dreamed of, balancing the blessings and the struggles, equally the same. With God’s guidance and her husband’s assistance, together they are raising hardworking and compassionate young men of chivalry and a young lady of grace. She dabbles in essential oils, trusts strongly in homeopathy, organic farming and clean eating to handle the family’s severe allergies. As a writer by day and a reader by night she is here to learn as well as to offer encouragement and assistance on to other mama’s.

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